November 7, 2012
“I wish I didn’t have to go back to the office. I’m going to miss Vince so much. I hope I can balance career and motherhood. Maybe I can sneak out at lunch and visit him for a few minutes. I just can’t imagine spending a second without him!”
November 2, 2015
“Woo-Hoo!! Back to the office today! I can’t wait to sit at my desk and drink a nice, hot cup of tea without anyone trying to stick their fingers in it. I am really looking forward to wearing nice clothes again; having adult conversations; really getting to focus on my career during the day; and spending hours of quality time with both kids each night. Ah, and I finally get to visit the bathroom alone!!!”
August 17, 2017
Soaked and scrubbed a sippy cup that resurfaced on the floor of my car after a still-unknown amount of time spent congealing under the driver’s seat.
Requested permission to use the office laundry room to clean my daughter’s bed set, which was covered in the waterfall of pee that was cascading from her diaper when I walked into her bedroom 37 seconds too late.
Picked at my dress to remove breakfast remnants that my daughter hugged onto me when I dropped her off at daycare.
Picked at the heel of my shoe to remove a dinosaur sticker.
Coaxed sticky chocolate granola bar bits out of a Cabbage Patch Doll’s mouth, because, according to the explanation I received, Dolly gets hungry in the car and we can’t just let her be hungry, can we? Well, can we? Of course we can’t.
Threw out my tea, because by the time I was done juggling my actual job responsibilities with the Cabbage Patch dental surgery, it was no longer even lukewarm.
Talked about my son not once, not twice, but three times during my morning meeting.
Discussed my children’s dairy allergies with a coworker.
Met with a client, who promptly asked about my children, which led to a 5-minute discussion about…you guessed it…my children.
Wondered if there was any plausible way to hire a sitter tonight just so we can put away the 18 loads of laundry my husband washed last night.
Used my lunch hour to window-shop new car seats and stock up on healthy snacks that contain neither granola nor chocolate.
Brought my phone into the bathroom with me to prevent missing any calls from the daycare or the preschool.
Ah, there’s nothing like alone-time.
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