“I need a day.” Louis Litt
“I need a month.” Me
After the events of the past few weeks, I feel like I could spend a month in Bora Bora and still be wound tighter than a spring. Of course, after the events of the past few weeks, my getaway budget is less “one month in Bora Bora” and more “one hour alone in ShopRite.”
We all have a breaking point, and I hit mine at top speed around 9 o’clock this morning.
My endlessly patient husband was willing to bear the brunt of my panic-fueled, 31-text explosion from 9:15-10:15 (God. Bless. That. Man.) But even after that volcanic meltdown, I still couldn’t stop spinning. I settled into the realization that I’d be accompanied by my anxiety for the rest of the day, and began busying myself enough to take it from a head-splitting roar to a low hum.
And then…I got this.
“You know if you need me I’ll drop everything.”
Remember that scene from Frozen where Elsa stands there in that fabulous ice dress, raises her hands, turns a Winter Blizzard into Spring, and Olaf gets all excited? That was pretty much me reading that text message (just to be clear, I’m definitely Olaf…in any scenario. I could never pull off that dress, and my nose is pretty pronounced).
That’s all it took- one little sentence- and my world stopped spinning.
So who is this magical person with the power to halt a 2-hour, head-pounding, vision-blurring panic episode with one little sentence?
My friend. 🙂
She didn’t know how trying the last few weeks have been- nor did she have any idea that I was in the middle of what I like to call “an episode” (makes it sound fancy, no?) We were just texting about going to brunch, and she knew something wasn’t right. So she raised her arms, waved her hands, and stopped the blizzard swirling around in my head. I’m not sure if she was wearing a fabulous ice dress; it might have been a fabulous pants suit.
Pretty powerful, right?
Sometimes you need a month in Bora Bora, but more often than not, you just need a friend.
I believe we call them our squad? I prefer “circle of badass bitches,” but that’s just me. Whatever term you prefer (try mine, I think it’s really going to catch on), you may find yourself reaching out to them quite often once adulthood really sets in.
*Side Note- You might be one of those magical unicorn people who can handle any of life’s twists and turns with poise and grace, completely on your own. However, if you’re a high-maintenance, unconfident, needy little mess like myself, feel free to read on.*
You may need the friend who can sit on your couch on a Saturday night and help you fold laundry, and somehow make it fun; who gave your baby his very first nickname (I still call him “Cenzie” every now and then); who you can talk to about everything from hopes and dreams to favorite cupcake flavors to bowel movements in one conversation; and who can tell through a text message that life has you on a ledge, and know exactly what to say to pull you back.
You may need the friend who has been with you from the see-saw in 1st grade, to checking each other’s teeth for “gook” at the lunch table in 7th grade, to waiting at a Chili’s down the road to save each other from a first date if needed (it wasn’t needed- he’s awesome, she married him, they make stunningly adorable babies), to offering to watch your son when you go into labor- 1 month after having her own baby.
You may need the friend who grew up around the corner; who knew you when you had 1 very furry, caterpillar-like eyebrow, and never made fun of said eyebrow; who knows everything about your political views, your marital problems, your sex life, your career goals, and everything else that you’ve blurted out to them at all hours of the day; and who will always make time to listen.
You may need the ones who technically aren’t related to you, but who would definitely get custody of you in the event of a divorce; who can have lively conversations with you about dogs, Disney cartoons, and diet changes; who drive 30 minutes to have a 40-minute lunch with you, just so you can see each other; who sit in Long Island traffic after working all day just to hold your brand new baby; and who trek almost an hour, two weeks in a row, just to be at your dining room table for both of your children’s birthdays.
You may need the mom friends that you hardly ever see, but who know pretty much everything about you, because you’ve blurted out your life stories to one another while fighting the epic battle to get toddlers into carseats in the daycare parking lot. You will carry out very real relationships with these women via text messages and Facebook, and they will get you through some very trying times (and answer all of your homework questions when you have to deal with Common Core math).
You may need the work wives who show up at your door with bags of food and pantry staples, before you’ve even moved in; who gladly stop by your office to swap stories about whose family is loonier on any given day; and who have seen you speed-eat 4 tacos and a plate of chips and salsa during lunch and never judged you.
If you can find any of these types of people you’ll be unimaginably blessed. They will be your Elsas. They will form your circle. They will be there, many times, before you even realize you need them.
And when your time comes to be any of these people, don’t shy away from it. You may just know the one little sentence that will stop their world from spinning.